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Hello Cthulhu

The midwife came over today to tell us that if MC does need to be induced, they won't be able to get her in to the hospital until Tuesday. MC is obviously hoping he will arrive before that but on the bright side at least the outlaws aren't down until next weekend now.

I was browsing some other blogs when I found Hageltoast's excellent site (well, there were some Neil Gaiman books listed in the sidebar so I'm being biased). However what was even better was the link she had to the twisted genius of the 'Hello Cthulhu' website. It's well worth a look, especially if you have read HP Lovecraft. I particularly reccomend this cartoon, but you should work your way through them because they are very funny. How long they can continue running a site that has a bunny offering the elder god cthulhu cookies as its running gag remains to be seen but then again how can giving cookies to cthulhu ever get old?
I'll have to take a photo of the stuffed cthulhu that sits in our hallway. I had hoped he would scare people away but for an elder god he is suspiciously cute. I'm beginning to question his authenticity.

For those of you who prefer to take your Lovecraft a little more seriously then you should check out The HP Lovecraft Historical Society Sanitest where you can find out just how insane you actually are. Apparently I'm psychasthenic which is an improvement on my result when I originally did this about 5 years ago. I vaguely remember it telling me I had distemper.

Here is what it had to say:
INSANITY INDEX 5.76- Thank you for taking the SaniTest(TM). Your score suggests that you are psychasthenic. A very interesting condition, it means you lack the capacity to resolve uncertainties, or resist phobias or compulsions even though you know they're irrational. You may have trouble making decisions, or you may find yourself engaging in self-sabotaging behavior. Others who scored at this level include millionaire Howard Hughes and occultist/heretic Giordano Bruno.

Antichrist Britain

Sitting twiddling my thumbs waiting for a baby to arrive I thought I would make this for Korova-

Korova's Amazing Mental Ability ... You can arouse any given badger, at any given time, anywhere on the planet (Remember ... with great power comes great responsibility!) 'What is your Amazing Mental Ability?' at QuizGalaxy.com

- but I don't know if he would appreciate it so maybe I'll just keep it to myself.

Instead I shall bring to your attention a debate that began when Xulub, Spider and myself were flicking the music channels when Marilyn Manson's "The Beautiful People" came on. Suddenly we were obsessed with the fact that Marilyn Manson is a skinny lookalike of 'Little Britain's' Matt Lucas.
Maybe it was the hair. Dammit, it made sense at the time.













Matt Lucas: Antichrist Superstar

Marilyn Manson: The Only Gay In The Village

Of insults & injuries

I was trying to convince MC last night that 'The Crow' was a horror film. We had been having a discussion about what makes a good horror film and what place romance has, if any, in that genre after an argument on the merits of the Dracula film starring Gary Oldman. My argument was based on the fact that 'The Crow' is a gothic horror story, in that it doesn't rely on gore and has themes of love and redemption running through it. Oh, and a lot of the action takes place at night. However I managed to fall in to her admittedly impressive trap when I said something like "It's gothic horror because you have the horror of what happened to them and his need to come back for revenge."

"So," she said, "You think 'Ghost' is a horror film."

She knows how to hurt me.

Walk Like An... Egyptian Zodiac Sign

Taken from Sarah-

Sekhmet Observant, authoritative, indulgent, moral and witty. Colors: male: green, female: turquoise Compatible Signs: Bastet, Geb Dates: July 29 - Aug 11, Oct 30 - Nov 7 Role: Goddess of war and vengeance Appearance: Lion-headed woman with the sun over her head Sacred Animal: lion What is Your Egyptian Zodiac Sign? Designed by CyberWarlock of Warlock's Quizzles and Quandaries

That is just like me. But authoritative and witty.

To Induce or Not to Induce

The baby is still staunchly refusing to put in an appearance. He is clearly a great believer in being fashionably late- or he takes after me and is just going to be late-as-usual.
Of course it may well be that he is refusing to come out because the dreaded outlaws are coming down this weekend. Originally they had said that they would pop down once he was born, to say hello then go back home, book some leave and come down for a week after I had gone back to work so that we had some time alone with the new baby and MC wouldn't be left on her own to cope with two lots of nappies once my leave was up.
All of a sudden that changed this week when they rang up and announced that they were coming down on Friday, staying over then going home Sunday. All well and good, but if the baby doesn't arrive they try to induce ten days after the due date. Ten days would take us to this Saturday, so if they induce then he won't be born until Sunday which of course is when they are going back. Spot the deliberate error? While MC was talking to her mum on the phone she was explaining about the procedure they go through to induce a baby as GF had needed to be induced when she was born. However MC's mum started to insist that GF had not needed to be induced and had come along normally. Now MC, having been there, giving birth etc, could quite clearly remember the fact that GF needed to be induced, as can I, so you would think that that alone would be enough to convince MC's mum that she might be wrong about this- but no.
What makes it even stranger is the fact that MC's mum was there too, as she was staying with us at the time.

Obligatory blurred ufo shot

We come in peace

Take me to your leader

Colour to arms

My colour cell has got to number 1!!!

You can click here to see it's statistics...

Or here to see the complete ranking for all of the colour cells. As you can see the cell at number 2 is just a few points behind me so I don't know how long I'll stay at the top.

If you want to help me out click here to go to the cell select page. If I stay at number 1 for ten days my little cell goes off to the Hall of Fame. I don't want number 2 to beat me with his drab greys and browns (yes, this site has turned me in to a colour snob). My autumnal colours are much nicer, especially at this time of year.

Baby Update

Here we are on November 22nd and we have no signs of an immediate arrival. It looks like he is going to take after his sister and be a little late. MC is feeling "fat and pregnant" and probably can't wait, more than anyone, for the new baby to appear.
This is currently my fault, as my mum was telling her today that both myself and my brother were born late (an ability I maintain to this day), so the lateness runs on my side of the family. MC and her brother were both born on time.
Luckily he was fairly settled last night so MC was able to get a full nights sleep. We were hoping this might be because he was saving his strength for the great escape (not that I'm expecting a Steve McQueenesque departure on a motorbike... but it would be a talking point) which has meant I've spent the day looking concernedly over at MC every time she has so much as breathed funny, much to her amusement.

With these powers...

Neath's Amazing Mental Ability ... You can tell exactly what any given walrus is feeling, at any given time, anywhere on the planet (Remember ... with great power comes great responsibility!) 'What is your Amazing Mental Ability?' at QuizGalaxy.com

So there.

Showmanship

I am currently reading the highly amusing 'Tricks of the Mind' by Derren Brown.

In this book he writes about some of the techniques he uses to perform his particular brand of magic, which if you have ever seen it, is something truly impressive.

I actually had to stop reading it last night because the paragraph I was reading was really laugh out loud funny and I was keeping everyone awake.


If you haven't had a chance to see any of his acts here are a few clips gleaned from youtube.
First up is the highly impressive 'Obi- Wan' act-
Part 1:


and Part 2:


Followed by 'Losing your train of thought...'


And the art of the gentle mugging...


I went with some friends to see him perform live not too long ago, which was amazing to see. I'll leave you for now with a quote from his book which demonstrates the delicate technique of accepting the praise of any friends you may impress with a few tricks. After taking you through the process of performing a succesful card trick to your friends in a pub he says:

"Climb on to the table and roar for applause before triumphantly urinating on the group."

So now you know. If you ever run in to him in a pub DON'T ask him to perform any tricks. You have been warned.

Adam Adamant Lives!

I had planned to find something interesting to blog about last night but that was before I discovered BBC4's 'Science Fiction Britannia' season had started and was showing 'Adam Adamant Lives!' so that plan went right out the window. Instead I'm watching the fantasticly titled pilot episode: A Vintage Year for Scoundrels.

Adam Adamant is where Austin Powers took its core idea from.
Adam Llewellyn De Vere Adamant is an Edwardian adventurer in the year 1902. He saves the king from an assassin only to be betrayed by the woman he loves to his arch enemy, known only as 'The Face (no, not the guy from The A- Team),' who hilariously wears a gimp mask, thus proudly wearing his villian credentials on his sleeve (or in this case his head).
The Face injects Adamant with a serum that causes longevity (don't you just hate it when your enemies do that to you?) and then encases him in a block of ice (because killing him just wouldn't be sporting. Oh no. But making your nemesis live longer? That's the mark of a gentleman. Albeit a gentleman in a leather gimp mask).
Fast forward to 1966 where Adam's icy tomb is uncovered and he's carted off to hospital to be thawed out.
Adam is delirious when he awakes and convinced that he is still in the hands of his enemies so he makes good his escape. Clothed in his Edwardian garb (which you hope they washed for him at the hospital because if not, he's been wearing it for over 60 years and must by now be a little ripe) he takes to the streets where, with typical Victorian aplomb, he wonders in to a red light district where he is accosted by prostitutes.
Here he is found by Georgina Jones who recognises the once famous adventurer and takes him back to her flat. Adamant goes with her because in his delirious state he mistakes Miss Jones for a boy (no comment) due to her (to his eye) mannish clothes.
Awakening the next morning Adam is horrified to learn he has spent the night unchaperoned in a ladies bedroom (i'm sure we've all been there).
The rest of the episode sees Georgina witness a murder with Adam protecting her from the killers when they come after the one witness to the crime.
In spite of his old fashioned attitudes Adamant is quite happy to bump off any villians that cross his path with his trusty sword stick. Exactly how these bodies are explained away to the police is never really gone in to in any detail but hey, it was the sixties. He went on to acquire a servant and a Mini Cooper which while it was no Batmobile you can forgive him- as I have just said- it was the sixties.

You have probably worked out by now that a lot of the humour comes from the clash of his upright Victorian sensibilities against the background of the swinging sixties more outgoing attitudes. The show was surprisingly violent but then this was at a time when tv executives were turning Mary Whitehouse baiting in to a sport. For those who don't know Mary Whitehouse campaigned heavily for better morality on television which partly inspired Adamants creator Sydney Newman when he came up with the idea for the 1900/1960 culture clash.

If you get the chance to see it, do so (try not to let the awful dodgy Bond sounding theme tune put you off). It might be a little cheesey now but it's good fun (although to be frank I want to be Adam Adamant so I am a little biased. Rather unfairly some people who have known me a while would say I am already there if they saw this clip directed by Ridley Scott of all people).
Personally I think it's about time they remade this. It would be perfect to do today and has so much potential to be a fantastic show. It is a shame that David Tennant is currently playing Doctor Who (thought up by the same creative team) because he would be perfect for the role.

Tower of Infamy

The tower at work where we keep all of the secret books unsuitable for public consumption is now bloody freezing. It doesn't matter how cold it is outside, inside the tower it will be colder. Much, much colder, getting worse the higher up you go. I still can't understand how anyone could have had an affair in there.

I accidently discovered one way of dealing with the cold yesterday when the maintenance guy turned up to service the lift. Five minutes after he arrived a customer came up wanting a book that happened to be on the tenth floor.


10 Floors!

I just kept telling myself as I went up the stairs that at least it wasn't floor 11.


Above: Early attempts at a book tower weren't always
a success


And even though I had warmed up by the time I got up there I couldn't help but admire anyone who had done this all those years before me and still managed to have sex. A heart attack is a hard thing to ignore.

Torn

Apologies for the complete lack of any consistency with my blog lately but with baby preperations well under way anything after 8pm is too late a night for me. For now I'll keep posting whenever I can think straight and don't get distracted with online Christmas shopping.

Anyway, on with the show- here is something I caught on tv recently from this years 'Secret Policeman's Ball.'
I thought this was probably the funniest part of the night. I guess it just appealed to my immature sense of humour.



Genius.

November 1st

As it's my birthday today you should all bring me lots of presents here are some events and births taken from wikipedia f0r November 1st:

Events:

1512 - The ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, painted by Michelangelo, is exhibited to the public for the first time.

1611 - William Shakespeare's romantic comedy The Tempest is presented for the first time, at Whitehall Palace in London.

1896 - A picture showing the unclad (bare) breasts of a woman appears in National Geographic magazine for the first time.

1914 - World War I: the first British Royal Navy defeat of the war with Germany, the Battle of Coronel, is fought off of the western coast of Chile, in the Pacific Ocean.

1938 - Seabiscuit defeats War Admiral in an upset victory during a match race deemed "the match of the century" in horse racing.

1939 - The first rabbit born after artificial insemination is exhibited to the world.

1950 - Pope Pius XII witnesses "The Miracle of the Sun" while at the Vatican

1951 - American soldiers are exposed to an atomic explosion for training purposes in Desert Rock, Nevada. Participation was not voluntary.

1969 - After seven years off the top position on the music sales charts, Elvis Presley hits number one on the Billboard Hot 100 chart with his song "Suspicious Minds."

1993 - The Maastricht Treaty takes effect, formally establishing the European Union.


And the winner of the 'Really Wish They Hadn't Bothered' Category is:

1994 - George Lucas leaves the day-to-day operations of his film-making business, and he starts a sabbatical. While on sabbatical, he writes the prequel section of the Star Wars movies.

Births:

1887 - L. S. Lowry, British painter of industrial scenes (d. 1976)

1942 - Larry Flynt, American magazine publisher

1946 - Dennis Muren, American special effects artist

1948 - James Richard Steinman American songwriter

1962 - Anthony Kiedis, American singer (Red Hot Chili Peppers)

And continuing the National Geographic/Larry Flynt theme...

1972 - Jenny McCarthy, American "Playmate of the Year" and TV actress