Bee Hunting for Hobbyists
Chapter 1: Finding and Killing Your Bee
You will need:
1 computer
1 internet connection
1 hammer (optional)
1 weak lemon drink
Step 1: Turn on your computer and log on to the internet.
Step 2: Go to www.worldcalledcatastrophe.blogspot.com
Step 3: Look for the picture of a flower.
Step 4: You must line up the web page so that the flower is roughly in the middle of your computer screen.
Step 5: Now take your hammer and hide.
Step 6: You can drink your weak lemon drink now.
Step 7: The bee will be lured to your computer by the pretty colours of the flower.
Step 8: When he lands on the flower you must strike with your hammer. If you do not have a hammer you can always use your fists.
Warning: This could lead to being stung and/or electrocuted. Fisting the bee could be harder than you might think.
Step 9: Congratulations! You have now killed your first bee. The correct way to dispose of the body is to roll it out of a convenient door.
posted by The Neath at 10:15 pm
8 Comments:
ooooooook, Neath.
quite the imagination there. haha.
i'll take your word for how to kill a bee. you should do it yourself and post the photos for us all to see ... you know, a photo essay. just to prove it works. i want to see proof first.
:)
AM
Don't encourage him. I'll be forced to retaliate. With hairy caterpillars.
And it's Apicide. Doesn't anyone proofread these things?
I am really rather perturbed by your bee fisting? I can't even begin to explain the thoughts that are swimming around my head. What would the actor Kevin Eldon make of your fisting escapades????
'...and beefisting is a lot like jesus'
Perhaps?
i thought this a was a polite and nice person blog....but wot the hell is ....BEE FISTING !!!!!!
mrs upset of tunbridge wells
p.s bring back mrs whitehouse
Aliemalie- Why do you think I was really off line for so long?
;D
Xulub- Apicide is bee killing and I'm actually sticking to the 'empathic manslaughter' plea. I did have a sentence about enforced bee suicide but it didn't fit so I just made up bee- tricide which in hindsight could be a mistake if I ever meet anyone called Beatrice.
I now pronounce you my long distance editor.
Korova- You should never explain the thoughts swimming around your head. You kick over old ladies and covet badgers.
Xulub (again)- I couldn't have put it better myself. I think the world needs more Kevin Eldon.
Nigs- It's hitting bees. You know. With fists. Why, what did you think? Have you been hanging around with korova?
I only have a weak orange drink. Is this acceptable?
NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!
What are you thinking man! No wonder you were too ashamed to give your name. Orange juice? That just won't do at all.
I can see I need to do a post to educate you all in the methods of 'The Hobby King'.
:)
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