Meme Music Quiz

I stumbled across this on a friend of a friend's blog and thought I'd give it a try. Basicly you set your itunes, or in my case my MP3 player, to play randomly and the song that plays is the answer to the question. Give it a go and no cheating!

How does the world see me?
Silver Road- Sarah Harmer with The Tragically Hip (Men with Brooms soundtrack)

Interesting one. A beautiful song but now I'm paranoid that the world thinks I'm a fictional character in a modern-Bronte-type novel.
"Had you been thinking that you were all alone,
While I still thought of you"

How do I see myself?
Wearing Me Down- Dashboard Prophets (Burning Out The Inside)

I am my own worse enemy, so the title makes sense. I'm also easily frustrated by some people.
"It's not what you've done,
It's what you said"

Will I have a happy life?
You Got The Love (Now Voyager Mix)- The Source featuring Candy Staton (cd single)

A song about faith? Apart from the odd pitfall to overcome that's a yes then. Wonder if the fact it's an extended mix is relevant...
"Occasionally,
My thoughts are brave and friends are few"

What do my friends really think of me?
See The Sun- Black Lab (EP)

What's this obsession with the world seeing me as some sort of romantic figure? What's going on? Another beautiful song and my partners name gets used so its got added significance for me.
"I'm by your side
And I feel fine"

Do people secretly lust after me?
Something For The Weekend- The Divine Comedy (cd single)

Er...? Apparently I'm seen as a one night stand.
"If it's nothing like you say
Then you can have your wicked way with me"

How can I make myself happy?
All You Good Good People- Embrace (cd single)

Stand up and say what's important to me.
"You won't have to fake it while I'm around"

What should I do with my life?
Hungry (Radio Edit)- Kosheen (cd single)

Eat more? Or maybe chase some of my goals a little. Knowing me I'll go for the first option.
"You're like a child with old eyes
Cynical and sensible, always full of surprises"

How do I see the world?
If You Believe- Our Lady Peace (Spiritual Machines)

It's all gone wrong and it can't let go of the past, but there is some hope.
"You thought you could buy your last piece of mind"

Will I ever have children?
I Did It- Dave Matthews Band (Everyday)

Yes I did. Very true.
"You better lock me up I'll do it again"

What is some good advice for me?
Grazed Knees- Snow Patrol (Final Straw)

Don't be scared. Another sublime song by the way.
"Just give a second thought
What if we don't get caught"

How will I be remembered?
Could I Be You- Matchbox Twenty (More Than You Think You Are)

Women want me, men want to be me... maybe.
"You're laughing out loud
At just the thought of being alive"

What is my signature dancing song?
Sophia- Bif Naked (I Bificus)

A song about a lesbian couple? Sure, I'll dance for lesbians.
Actually it's about her dog. Sorry to disappoint anyone.
"When ya pant at me, Sophia, I know what you're thinking"

What do I think my current theme song is?
Take Me Away- Lifehouse (Stanley Climbfall)

I reckon the title speaks for itself. :-)
"There is no one else who can take your place"

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
Warm Machine- Bush (The Science of Things)

okaaaaay... So everyone sees me as a... machine. That's warm. My friends see me as a radiator. Either that or everyone wants to see me chained to a radiator. That's just mean.
A song about trying to fit in and be a part of something.
"There's a thousand miles to go
Without blinking"

What song will play at my funeral?
Mass Romantic- The New Pornographers (Men with Brooms soundtrack)

A fantasticly upbeat song for a funeral. Actually I've always thought Meatloaf's 'Life is a Lemon and I Want my Money Back' was the ultimate funeral song. But what on earth is going on with this romantic theme? How many women are there going to be at my funeral?!
"Like everyone wants to say 'I love you'
To someone on the radio"

What type of men/women do I like?
Nearly Impossible- Face to Face (Ignorance is Bliss)

Going by that title I'd say unobtainable ones. We're back to the lesbians again I'd guess.
"Highly improbable
But not hopeless"

What is my day/night going to be like?
Kick Some Ass- Stroke 9 (Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back soundtrack)

A great, fun song, so here's hoping!
"And how many people are sick of holding it back?"

World Called Cat Entropy

I've been thinking about changing the name of my site.

I got in to blogging through a friend. I work with Korova over at Mask of Anarchy and one day he let slip that he was running that blog. Naturally I asked him more about it - I've got this comicbook project I've been working on and was wondering if a blog might be a good place to try and generate some interest. If not then I thought I could start one up and just see what happens. I didn't feel that I had anything particularly interesting to say (Oh, how right I was!), but I'd been reading a few of the blogs that are around and it looked like it could be fun.
Korova was telling me how he enjoyed doing the blog and that I should give it a try ("Go on. Give it a go. Everyone else is doing it. You'll like it once you've started" - actually the more I think about it that could have been another conversation all together), so I did and was suddenly hooked.

When I was trying to come up with a name for the site I wanted something that sounded cool. To be honest I thought making a Shelley reference with Mask of Anarchy was too good and I was feeling competitive.

So what to go for? I'm addicted to music so I thought I'd go with a song reference and as I seem to be listening to an awful lot of Matt Good at the moment it seemed like an obvious choice.
My first thought was for 'Symbolistic White Walls' which, if you read the lyrics, seemed incredibly appropriate. Sadly that had gone, so I went for my next choice which is what you see at the top of this site, 'In a World Called Catastrophe' being another great song.

All well and good you may think but I can't help but feel a little paranoid. As soon as I had set up my blog Korova put a link on his site to mine, so there I am at the top of his list of blogs. Now, those of you who have been to his site know that it is very politically orientated. He's got opinions and all sorts going on over there and its well worth a read. However all of the other blogs he has listed are also very political and I reckon that I must be getting a lot of very confused readers coming over. After all 'World Called Catastrophe' even sounds like it's going to be a political blog, so imagine the disappointment on their little faces when they click that link and get me rambling on about sharks and scary welshmen.

The trouble is I'm quite attached to that title now, so I think I'll just let people carry on as normal, flicking between myself and Korova with slightly bemused expressions on their faces. Look at my site as somewhere to escape the stresses of all the arguments going on in those political type blogs. An oasis of... well, not calm exactly, but you get the idea. And if you are one of those people that has stumbled across here by accident, then you're welcome to stay. Feel free to leave a comment though- I'm intrigued to know what you make of this if you were looking for political articles to read!

Missing Links

Here are a couple of links for your entertainment.
Thanks to Rhub for the first one- he posted it on a comment on this site but quite frankly it deserves a mention in a main blog. Whether you're a fan of The Matrix or not click here to see a trailer for the film you will soon wish it had been.

The second one is for fans of Lost who have yet to see this work of genius. Hopefully it should clear up any questions you may still have about the show, revealing what the monster is and where the island can actually be found.
Click here and prepare to be slightly freaked.

a little experiment

Here we go- a topical poll dealing with the burning issues of the day...

Obey the Crab

You have no choice. You will obey.

Obey the Crab

Have fun.

Hipanonymous

I'm getting a bit worried by the number of anonymous people posting comments here.
This is in danger of becoming the blog equivalent of a seedy motel. Lots of people visiting but unwilling to leave any names.
Come on! You don't have to use your real name! Give yourself a nickname and lets get a weird little community thing going on.

Ee- Chiwawa!

As I was leaving work yesterday a friend of mine was telling me how she had been trying to find my blog to show someone but couldn't remember what it was called. In the end she had searched for it using the words 'cold dead eyes of an ewok' and up it popped.

For some reason the fact that you can find my site using that phrase makes me immensely happy.

Size Matters

That last post went on a bit.

I'll make up for it now by making this one much shorter.

There. Hope you enjoyed it.

In With The Outlaws

I have no idea where to start with this post.

I think an apology might be best because this won't be as funny as any of the previous rubbish that's poured from my brain. As some of you may either know, or simply have worked out by now, when I'm suffering I like to make sure as many people as possible suffer with me.

Go and get yourself a glass of water. Keep it by the side of the computer. You'll need it later to get rid of the taste of vomit at the back of your throat.

For those of you still reading... Hello.

I am rapidly having to come to terms with the fact that I really dislike my inlaws. If you're married or living with someone and you think your inlaws are bad: No. No they're not.
It might help you to know that the mum has one volume. LOUD. It will help you to know that the dad looks like Roy "Chubby" Brown. It'll come in usefull for the nude scene later...

To begin with they drink. Not 'like a fish', as the saying goes, more like shoal. In fact if a fish drank as much as they do it would die. Like Mr Creosote.

The other problem is they live in Sheffield. Or to be more precise the problem is that they live far enough away that when they come down to Kent, where we live, they generally need somewhere to stay. Which would be great if they at least pretended they were coming down to see us.

We have a daughter who will soon be two in a few months and the inlaws are always complaining that they never get to see her. Not really surprising considering that whenever they do come down they go out drinking with their friends who live nearby. We're little more than an inconvenience in the place they are having to stay in between their mad alcoholic groping frenzies, or whatever the pack of them get up to when they are together.

Basicly, whenever the inlaws are staying over and their friends (who, for the sake of argument we shall call Tris & Chracy) call, they drop everything to go off drinking on a near daily basis. Of course by 'near daily' I mean hourly.

This led to the situation about a year ago where we get home from work to find my partner's (henceforth referred to as Spider) parents who were babysitting have taken our nine month old daughter to a pub.

Yes a pub. I'll pause a moment while you read that line again. A pub. In Gillingham. For those of you who have never been to a Gillingham pub, it's an experience. Try crossing 'The Deer Hunter' with 'Trainspotting' and you're part way there.

Cue us shooting off in the car to pick up our daughter, Spider arguing with parents and baby reeking of cigarette smoke - thankfully we've got her down to five a day now. I didn't expect to have to drag my daughter out of a pub until she was at least in her teens. They start them young in Spiders family.

So there you go, a big falling out and you'd think they'd learn. Wouldn't you...?

This week Spiders dad comes down to stay at ours on Monday. Her brother has also come down with his boyfriend but they are staying at Tris & Chracy's as we only have limited space in our flat.
Tuesday morning Spider & myself go off to work with the father supposedly babysitting for the day (he'd spent the night before running around visiting people so he would have the day free to spend with his granddaughter).

By the time we get home that evening her father is off his face in a big way. This is a man who had his gall bladder removed last year because he'd buggered it up with his constant drinking. In fact he had to wait a while for the operation because he was too damn fat with his lardy beer belly flapping about all over the place. Since the op he can't hold his drink- in both senses of the word. Not only does he get drunk quicker and heavier but once the drink is in him it attempts to escape through any available orifice. There he is on the couch, unable to move, clammy skin alternating between shades of white and green while he makes this horrible burping, ribbitting sound over and over again. He's also praying (as was everyone else in the room) that his bowels won't escape from his arse as they seemed to be trying to do.

From henceforth Spider's dad will be referred to as frogfather. Trust me, for anyone that has ever read HP Lovecroft, froggy was an exact copy of one of the freaks from Innsmouth, except Welsh (wonder if there's an Innsmouth in Wales...).

Luckily Spider's brother was on hand to provide the babysitting duties. The story was that Chracy's mum had apparently taken ill so she had to call frogfather over to give her some sweet loving.

Okay! I'm kidding! Sorry! God, I hope I'm kidding...

Frogfather dashes over with baby in tow and to console Chracy they proceed to get incredibly drunk together; whether this involved going out to a pub or was just in the comfort of Chracy's own bed, sorry, home remains to be seen. Frankly we didn't dare ask. To make matters worse he apparently tried to start a fight with some guy living across from Chracy before everyone finally decided to pack him back to ours.
Some babysitter.
How this helped Chracy we don't know, but when the pack gets together its any excuse for a drink. The four of them seem to think everything is an Eastenders style crisis.

"My mum's ill! Let's drink!"
"My mums dead! Let's drink!"
"Mum's alive! Let's drink!"
"My bowels have erupted out of my anus! Let's drink!"
"Where we're going we don't need bowels! ...Let's drink!"

On top of this someone seems to have been rifling through our stuff in the bedroom.
The first time this happened was before Christmas when Spider's parents were down. I'd bought Spider some of those Discworld figures for presents but someone had gone through our stuff and in the process they had stamped all over them. Luckily the figures themselves survived and it was just the boxes that were crushed. At the time I thought it was Tris & Chracy's children that had done it as the inlaws had invited them over that day and my poor innocent brain couldn't comprehend that a 'grown up' might be responsible.
Silly me.
When we got in on that Tuesday I found someone had gone in our room again, this time stamping over some of my comics and leaving shoe polish on the bed. My clothes in the cupboard had also been gone through.
Creepy, but I let it go. Anything for a quiet life.

Then comes Friday.
Spider & I head off for work, taking little one with us to her usual babysitter because, sing hosannas, the frogfather is going back home today.
When we get in that evening it turns out he's gone in our bedroom again, rifled through all of our stuff screwed up the bedding and, unsubtly leaving the cupboard door open, pulled out my underwear.

I can only think of three reasons to go rummaging around in someone elses cupboard.
1) Looking for Christmas presents
2) Looking for dirty mags
3) My underwear
I felt a little sick.

So thats my moan. Sorry if I've gone on a bit but I really needed to convey the full horror of the situation. Thank you for your patience.
As a reward I will leave you with this;
The next time you're having a bad day at work, tell yourself this: At least there isn't a fat Welshman currently rolling around in my bed naked, while he sniffs my undies.

You can take that sip of water now.

Qwert shmarble

Looking for that ultimate gift? Try Qwert shmarble.

No, I've no idea what it is either.

Irrational Fears

For some people it's spiders for others it's wide open places. For me it's sharks.
It could be their eyes. Look at them next time you see one. They have the cold dead eyes of an ewok. Then again it's probably the humungous mouth filled with row after row of nasty pointy teeth. It might even be the fact that they absorb their urine in to their blood before secreting it through the skin. Whatever it is, admit it; even you wouldn't want to be sharing a pool with one.

My partner can't seem to understand this. If ever the topic comes up - for example a picture in a book or on tv, cue me hiding behind a sofa - she will just say 'What are the chances of you ever meeting a shark?'
Now let's look at this for a minute. Ignoring the fact that the point of an irrational fear is its very irrationality - How many victims of shark attacks actually went out that day thinking 'wonder if I'll meet a shark today?'
Very few I imagine. If you knew you were going to meet one you'd do your damnedest to avoid it. In my view it's best to be prepared.

Now before you start on with all that 'Oh, they only attack people because they mistake them for seals' rubbish in some strange misguided attempt to make their behaviour acceptable, think about it. Seals. Those incredibly cute furry puppy dog eyed critters you used to love as a child. Seals. And they eat them. Bastards. Sharks, with their dead staring eyes. Did you know that they do have eyelids, they just don't use them. That's how evil they are.

So why would someone want to go and create cyborg sharks?
These things are already essentially a very large missile with a huge toothy mouth, so lets not encourage them. Please?
Can you imagine being in the middle of the ocean when all of a sudden one of those little red laser dots appears out of nowhere?
Welcome to my nightmare.

You're probably thinking, 'What's the big deal? If I get attacked by a shark I'll just punch it on the nose.'
Wrong.
For a start if that really was their weakness you don't think they wouldn't just go and get that improved on with some heavy duty cyborg implementation now do you?
Secondly who do you think actually started that whole punch a shark on the nose rumour? Sharks, that's who. If you're going to thrust an arm out at a shark do you really want it to be towards the part of a shark that's nearest to its mouth?
Didn't think so.

You see? Now I've got you worried. Tell us, you're probably crying, there must be something we can do.
And there is.

Apparently if you turn a shark upside down they will go in to a natural state of paralysis.
So there you have it. The next time you see a shark charging towards you, just tickle its belly.

aaaaw. They are quite cute after all.

Blast From The Past

I got an email from my mate Simon recently with the words 'Ha, Ha. Remember This?' written in the subject box. That's going to ring alarm bells straight away but thankfully it wasn't that bad.

Apparently he had tapped his name in to google to see what came up and lo and behold he got a result.
To cut a long story short he was in contact with a group of people who were publishing their own x-men stories on the net at the time and they in turn were in contact with all around comics god Warren Ellis. The result of this was that they organised to meet up with Ellis at a pub in Victoria Station, just above WHSmith. Simon was invited along for the weekend and he in turn invited me.

To be honest with you I was a little freaked out to be surrounded by people who were bigger geeks than me (and I pride myself on being a HUGE geek), so I was a little on the quiet side over the weekend. They all knew each other already and I did feel a bit of an intruder. I'm also a miserable unsociable bastard at the best of times.

The unfortunate yet predictable outcome of all this was that they seemed to blank me from their memories completely so it must have come as a hell of a surprise the following week when they get the photos developed and can't work out who the stunningly good looking bloke is that crops up in all their pictures.

Now it could be that I'm just like the Shadow and have the power to cloud mens minds and I do, but thats not the point. It could also be that on each of their individual journeys home there was a freak head knocking incident that erased me from their memories but that's far too much of a coincidence and besides, how difficult would it be to engineer that level of selective mind wiping armed with nothing but a 2x4. Very, I can tell you.

Still, it's not all bad. As you can see the description leading to the pic says "See pic of someone, Simon, Jill, Andrew, Chris, Paul and Vorpal at the front. "

So there it is, I'm forever immortalised on the net as a 'someone'. That's almost as good as being credited as 'Third Stormtrooper From The Left'. And as Simon said... At least you're not immortalised as 'thinks he's a gherkin'.

Very true.

If you want to just skip to the picture, now a legend in its own blog, try this. Like I say, I'm the good looking one :-)

Peace.

Top Five TV Shows That Died Before Their Time... beginning with 'F'

In no particular order.

1) Firefly
2) Futurama
3) Family Guy
4) Freakylinks
5) Farscape

So there you go, don't name your tv show after a word that begins with 'F'.
Although going by this theory 'Tucker's Luck' should have lasted forever. Ironicly if it had begun with some F's the ratings would have soared.

(just missing out: Fist of Fun)

Strange Love... or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying & Love The Goat

Some stories you hear just make you do a huge doubletake. This one is that age old story; boy meets goat, boy falls off goat, boy and goat live happily ever after. No, really. If you don't believe me you can read all about it here.

So there you have it; a goat is for life, not just for Christmas... or one night stands.
What the poor goat did to piss the elders off so much that it was shackled to a sicko for the rest of its life sadly isn't explained.

Filthy Beast

I'm slightly worried about my mate.
Recently I came upon a picture of a statue based on the Beast character from the upcoming X-Men 3 film. No problems there you might think but this is probably one of the most psychologicaly disturbing figures you could ever hope (not) to see.
Basicly he's standing there, completely naked in all his blue furred glory. What sort of a sick mind would come up with something like that? If I tell you that he's holding a book and wearing a tiny pair of spectacles you get an idea of the level of detail that has gone in to this model. Although why they would think to give him a pair of glasses and not a pair of, I don't know, PANTS is beyond me.
Naturally I was traumatised so, unable to suffer alone, I emailed the link to a few of my friends (not all of them, just the ones I thought might forgive me afterwards).
Now I got a few interesting replies from this as I'm sure you can imagine, but one of my friends after expressing his initial shock and disgust said, 'Expect to see it go down 100 quid in price very soon.'
Fast forward a week and I'm looking on the same site to see if they have anything interesting going in their sale. You guessed it. There it is; the filthy Beast. £100 off. £100 exactly.
My friend knows more about the marketing of naked hairy people than is necessarily good for him.